Raising Self Esteem and Building Self Confidence

How would you describe yourself if asked to do so? Would you focus on your strengths or positive qualities or would you mostly list your weaknesses? Perhaps you are able to view both positive and negative qualities. In the case of your children and your teens, their worlds revolve much more inwardly than they do for you as an adult. Thus, taking a balanced perspective of the “good and bad” may be more difficult for your child. How your child or teen views himself or herself can influence their friendships and interactions with others. Self-esteem and self-confidence are important factors in the development of your son or daughter’s character and positive role models can take an active role in nurturing that development.

What is self-esteem?

When we speak of self-esteem, what are we referring to? Self-esteem is the satisfaction and respect that we have for ourselves. It is a term that reflects our overall evaluation of our own self worth and the belief that we have about ourselves. A similar term that goes hand-in-hand with self-esteem is self-confidence, which refers to the belief in your own abilities. Of course, self-esteem and self-confidence are just pieces of the puzzle and there are ways that we can encourage our sons and daughters to feel worthy and successful in who they are.

Praise and positive reinforcement

Most of us appreciate a job well done. When it applies to your children and your teens, recognizing their effort and hard work helps in the process of raising their self-esteem. Praising your child when he or she knows they have done a good job reinforces the experience and tends to stay in your child’s memory. The praise also encourages your daughter or son to continue to do their best because it produces positive feelings. Sometimes rewards follow as a result of your children’s efforts such as a medal, a prize, a leadership position, or even a scholarship. It prepares your child to connect hard work with success.

Opportunities to experience success

Children and teens need activities and opportunities where they can shine. Your child may show strength in music, academics, sports, or foreign languages. If your child can engage in an activity and feel proud of his or her performance, it increases those positive thoughts and feelings about themselves. It raises self-esteem! The importance of social development is also crucial for your teens especially as your son or daughter learns social skills with their peers. Being accepted, valued, and respected by their friends, plays a significant role for your child’s self-esteem.

Access to positive role models

Children and teens are consistently listening, observing, and absorbing information around them. Positive role models are individuals that your children admire, look up to, and respect and whom they want to imitate. Sometimes your child may already have negative views of himself or herself but with access to individuals your child admires, it can counter those negative thoughts. Your child can then receive a more accurate measure of how they are doing through the interactions with a positive role model. Check-in with your child and ask, “How would you describe yourself and why?” You can truly gain a wealth of information.

Self-esteem and self-confidence are building blocks towards shaping your child’s character and they are learned through a combination of positive and negative experiences. Feeling good about yourself, keeping a positive attitude, acknowledging weaknesses, making mistakes and learning from them, all help your children and your teens rise to the challenges of school and social interactions with others. As with all learned behavior, practice makes perfect and that holds true for self-esteem and self-confidence. Providing your children the opportunities to excel, praising your son or daughter for his or her hard work and accomplishments, learning to forgive themselves and others when things go wrong, and influencing their ideas through positive role models are tools that can be used each day with the goal of building confident young adults.